A roller coaster of a week!

       Tomorrow, I am planning on going to a birthday dinner for my coworker. She likes Chili's so we are headed there. I have come to the conclusion that to be successful in long term weight loss, I need to start planning my meals. I decided to take a look at Chili's menu online, pick out some options and then look at the nutritional facts to decide. 
       I was completely shocked when I looked at the nutrition information! Even with the lighter choices menu, there really aren't a lot of options available for someone who is trying to eat healthfully. I finally decided on the 6 oz. classic sirloin with steamed broccoli. It has 250 calories, 7 grams of fat and 38 grams of protein. I won' t be able to consume all of it, but it seems like a sensible choice. I decided to check out some of the items I used to eat before surgery. The chicken crispers with honey mustard dressing is 1400 calories! I thought that the spicy grilled shrimp tacos may have been a contender...until I looked at the nutrition facts: 1080 calories, 49g fat and 3570mg sodium!! How is that even possible?? They even have a salad that is 1370 calories! Many of the items are well over 1000 calories.  The sodium contents of various items are out of this world! I used to go there and not even think about what I was putting in my body! I never even considered looking at the nutritional information beforehand! With items like this on the menu, it is very easy to eat your entire day's fat and calories in one meal!! I wish we could pass a law that required restaurants to post the calorie amounts next to the menu item. I feel like this would force places like Chili's to reform their menu!
       A few months ago, I signed up for My Fitness Pal. I can use it on my phone or through the computer. This app has been a lifesaver! If I'm going out to eat, I can browse the menu and look up the nutritional information in MFP. This helps me make better decisions. My Dr. wants me to consume 75-100 grams of protein a day, so this helps me stay on track.          This Thursday is my 6th month appointment at My GBP doctor. Before the appointment, I had to have quite a bit of blood work done so the Doctor can check my vitamin levels to make sure I'm not deficient. For some reason, my veins don't like to cooperate. When I went last Monday to have the blood draw, the nurse had a very difficult time finding a vein and when she did find one, she could only get a few vials of blood before I started feeling dizzy, hot, and tired. The nurse thought they would have enough for the tests so I left. I was at work Wednesday and the Doctor's office called my work. They said my potassium levels were incredibly high and I needed to go to the hospital that day to redraw my blood. I was curious why they would be high so I googled it. Bad idea! High potassium levels can a sign of issues with your kidneys! I was reading about kidney failure and was very afraid! I went to the hospital. The lady had to stick me twice; once in the arm and finally in the hand by my knuckle. I waited all day long to hear back about the results. At about 5 pm, the doctor's office called and said the results were normal. She said sometimes the potassium can leech out of the molecules creating a false positive. Just when I think I was done, I got a call Friday night that they needed me to come back today to draw again. Some of the blood from the first sample had clotted. If you are a hard draw like me, here's a great tip: make sure to drink ample amounts of water before you go to have your blood drawn. I did that this morning, and she had no problem finding a vein and getting multiple vials! I was so thankful! I am finally feeling better this week, so it's back to my normal workout routine again! I can't wait to get back to my schedule. I finally have some energy again!
      

10 more pounds!

       10 more pounds...that's how much I have to lose until I reach my halfway point of 100 pounds lost! I am so excited!! Without this surgery, I would not be able to accomplish this.  This has been quite the journey so far and this girl still has a long way to go in my weight loss journey. My ultimate goal is to reach 150 pounds which means I still have 110 pounds to go. I've been thinking the last few days that I want to do something different with the second half of my journey. I know that this last 100 pounds is going to be harder to lose, so  I am going to set rewards for every 25 pounds lost. In researching different rewards, there were a lot of people who said that weight loss in and of itself is enough of a reward. I agree with that, but I have worked really hard at the gym and I feel like I deserve a reward! So many times, I forgo the things I want because it's too expensive, time consuming, etc. I feel like this is my time to put myself first for once. I'm not being arrogant or selfish. I'm caring about myself and recognizing that I do deserve good things and I do deserve to pamper myself occasionally. 

My rewards are:

125 pounds lost: New gym shoes
150 pounds lost:Deluxe Pedicure (I have only had one and it was on my wedding day. I've always felt like I didn't deserve it, ugh.)
175 pounds lost: Kayaking trip
200 pounds lost: 1 hour massage (I have never had one and have always wanted to, but felt so insecure about my body!)

       I have also been thinking about what I'd like to do when I reach my halfway point of 100 pounds lost. I'm thinking that I want to go to the state park to take a 3 mile hike. I've never been to the park in this area yet and I think this will be a good time weather wise to go. 

Happy Valentine's Day!

I hope everyone is having a day that is filled with love, hope and excitement! You know, I think many people focus only on romantic love on Valentines day, but there are so many other ways to celebrate! No matter what your relationship status is, try to take some time today to think about someone who could use some cheer! Maybe there is a widow who would appreciate a card and a good conversation today or a coworker who is enduring a hard situation and needs a break. Little actions can matter in a big way to someone who may be hurting inside. 

Here's what I decided to do to show my love to the world: I love to bake. I also really love to eat sweets, so there is a dilemma. I decided to try out a new recipe and bring it to my coworkers for a Valentines Day treat. This way, I get to do something that I enjoy, but I'm sharing it with others so I won't be tempted to eat it. I found a recipe last week from a very cool cooking and baking blog, Smitten Kitchen. The recipe is Salted Caramel Brownies!! This recipe is a little lengthy, but the results are worth it! It's getting rave reviews from my coworkers!

I thought I'd share the recipe with y'all:

Salted Caramel Brownies

Adapted from Smitten Kitchen

Makes 1 8×8 pan of brownies which you can cut into 16 2-inch squares, 25 smaller squares, 32 2×1-inch bites or a mess of hearts from a cookie cutter.

Caramel
1/2 cup granulated sugar
4 tablespoons unsalted butter (or salted, but then ease up on the sea salt)
Heaped 1/4 teaspoon flaky sea salt (or 1/8 teaspoon table salt, more to taste)
3 tablespoons heavy cream

Brownie
3 ounces (85 grams) unsweetened chocolate, roughly chopped
1 stick (4 ounces or 115 grams) unsalted butter, plus extra for pan
1 cup (200 grams) granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon (5 ml) vanilla extract
Heaped 1/4 teaspoon flaky sea salt or 1/8 teaspoon table salt
2/3 cup (85 grams) all-purpose flour

Make caramel: 

Set a square of parchment paper over a medium-sized plate. Lightly butter or coat the parchment with a spray oil, just as an added security measure.

In a medium, dry saucepan over medium-high heat, melt your sugar; this will take about 5 minutes, stirring if necessary to break up large chunks. By the time it is all melted, if should be a nice copper color; if not, cook until it is. Remove from heat and stir in butter. It may not incorporate entirely but do your best. Stir in cream and salt and return saucepan to the stove over medium-high heat, bringing it back to a simmer and melted again any sugar that solidified. Cook bubbling caramel for a few minutes more, until it is a shade darker.

Pour out onto parchment-covered plate and transfer plate to your freezer. Freeze until solidified, which can take anywhere from 20 to 30 minutes in a decent freezer to 40 minutes in my terrible one.

Meanwhile, or when your caramel is almost firm, make your brownies: Heat oven to 350°F. Line an 8×8-inch square baking pan with parchment, extending it up two sides. Butter the parchment or spray it with a nonstick cooking spray.

In a medium heatproof bowl over gently simmering water, melt chocolate and butter together until only a couple unmelted bits remain. Off the heat, stir until smooth and fully melted. You can also do this in the microwave in 30-second bursts, stirring between each. Whisk in sugar, then eggs, one at a time, then vanilla and salt. Stir in flour with a spoon or flexible spatula.

Assemble brownies: When caramel is firm, remove it from the freezer and chop it into rough 1-inch squares. Gently fold all but a small amount of caramel bits into batter. Scrape batter into prepared pan, spreading until mostly even. Scatter remaining caramel bits on top. Bake in heated oven for 30 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

Cool thoroughly — a process that can be hastened in the freezer, which will also produce cleaner cuts — and cut into squares or other desired shapes.

Set backs and pushing through

This last week has been a whirlwind! I've been so busy with work, school and social life. On top of all this, I have started to feel sick. I'm not sure if it's just seasonal allergies kicking up due to this wacky TN weather or if I'm actually getting a cold. I feel congested in the left side of my face, sore throat, exhaustion, and burning eyes. I started feeling sick Sunday and made it through my very busy day. Monday morning came around with a wake up of 6:30 AM. I sat in bed for a few minutes trying to justify just staying in bed until 8AM, my normal start to the day. As much as I want to be, I just am not a morning person and now that I can't have caffeine post op, it's even worse.  

Somehow, by the grace of God, I mustered up enough energy to just get out of bed. I lazily threw on my gym clothes and gathered my work clothes and breakfast/lunch. By the time I was driving to the gym, I started to more alert and normal. I spent 20 minutes on the treadmill at the weight loss setting which changes the speed and incline in intervals, 30 on the elliptical on an interval setting of low to high intensity, and spend about 5 minutes working on my arms on the weight machines. I'm finding that I'm able to challenge myself by raising the speed and intensity frequently. When I first started back at the gym last year, I could barely do 10 minutes on the elliptical! I actually feel comfortable at the gym now. When I started in July, I would feel so intimidated by all the fit people. Now I realize, that I have just as much of a right to be there as them! I'm trying to get healthy so that I can have a better life. 

After leaving the gym, I went straight to work. It was a long day! My boss has been dealing with some very difficult family issues right now (Prayers for her are very much appreciated) and the office has been fairly disjointed with the absences. To top it all off, I had to stay late for a meeting. After work, I stopped at Kroger to pick up a few groceries. I was tired, weak and just wanted something easy for dinner. The deli had marked down their fried chicken pieces to $2.99 per box. I cracked and threw them in my cart. I ate the meat from a breast and part of a thigh on the way home. I had a sugar craving and had a slice of cake at home also. I was exhausted and stressed out and caved to my need for comfort food. I regret it now. I thought that I was finally getting it and I do something stupid again. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not just self sabotaging? I feel like the workout that was so hard to get to was just a waste of my time when I do things like that.

Face Palm!

Well, today is another day. I still feel sick and exhausted, but for today, I am determined to learn from my mistakes. I have to learn that this is a journey. I will make mistakes. When you have 200 total pounds to lose, there will be many bumps in the road and maybe a few detours. What really is pivotal is what you do after your mistakes. You can choose to wallow in your frustration or self pity or you can choose to look toward the future, learn from your mistake and carry on with your journey.

I'm a turtle and finally getting it!

As you probably realize by now, I'm starting this blog about 5.5 months after surgery. I'm a bit of a procrastinator. I just felt like I needed to tell my story. While searching for GBS blogs, I found a lot of blogs from people who were already at their goal weight. I thought there was a need for someone in the middle of their journey. 
     My weight loss has been up and down. I can honestly say that for the first few months, I didn't work as hard as I should have at exercising. Since January, I've realized that no matter what happens in my life, surgery or not, the weight isn't just going to magically melt away! Like all the doctors tell us, this surgery is a tool for the patient! You have to actively work towards your goal to be successful long term. I have to make long term lifestyle changes to lose weight and keep it off! I lost about 50 pounds with a minimal effort of eating fairly healthy foods, and working out a few times a week. In October, I joined the Water Aerobics class at the YMCA. I finally found a class that I really liked. It seemed just challenging enough and was fun. In January, something finally clicked! I realized that I am worth it! For so many years, I have put the needs of everyone else before me. I didn't believe that I was good enough to have a happy life. I was so pushed down, and convinced that my life just wasn't meant to be happy. I felt like I had to just accept it for what it was and be content or at least quiet. I took a minute to breathe and sat down to make some resolutions for the next year. Some of them were the same ones I've made for years, weight loss, be consistent reading my Bible & praying, etc. I pushed myself to really think about my life and what I wanted. I realized that I quit dreaming. I was living a life of routine and realities. I resolved to have more fun! Sure, I still have responsibilities, but now I'm looking for areas to inject some fun into my free time! I resolved to run a 5k. I discovered that The Color Run is coming to Memphis in October. I decided that admission to The Color Run would be my birthday gift to myself. 
I found this picture on their FB page that describes my determination exactly!:

I am determined to make this year the best year of my life! I am determined to actively care about how my life turns out. I've started going to the gym. I workout 6 days a week for an hour a day. I'm hoping to continue challenging myself fitness wise. I want to become an athlete! My longtime goal is to complete a marathon and afterwards a triathlon!  My mom contacted me shortly after and presented me with the opportunity of a lifetime: A trip with her and a church group to Israel and Rome! Adventure here I come! 

      I have lost about 80 pounds so far. I wanted that number to be higher, but I seem to be a slow loser. Nevertheless, I am excited because this loss never would have happened before surgery and my lifestyle changes. I can feel my body getting stronger. I know that I am doing everything right as far as exercising, and eating the right portion of healthy foods. I just have to be patient and not compare myself to others.

Before at 350 (I hate this picture!):

After 80 pounds lost at 270 lbs(Girl in progress!):

I still have a long way to go, but I finally have the correct mindset and the motivation to put it into action! Check back for more updates on my weight loss journey, day to day struggles and triumphs! I'm hoping to post recipes, product reviews and challenges as well! The possibilities are endless!

Recovery...surprises and survival!

When I first made it home I threw on a very loose dress. I didn't want anything touching me. My mom bought me a recliner to rest in and it was lifesaver (eventually). That first day home was pretty rough. I wasn't in severe pain, but I was really frustrated because I just couldn't get comfortable anywhere. I was exhausted, but couldn't get comfortable enough to sleep in bed, the couch or the recliner! I just had to stick it out and hope for the best the following day. I had stocked up before hand for my first week of only liquids. I was able to drink protein shakes, broth, and eat sugar free popsicles or jello. 

These are awesome by the way! Pineapple was the favorite!

The nutritionist said to try to get in around 75-100 grams of protein a day. It took me a while to drink the protein shake. I had three prescriptions when I left the hospital: hydromorphone, zofran, and nexium. I discovered later that in my body, hydromorphone caused insomnia. I would stay awake in bed until early in the morning. My mind was racing and I just couldn't shut down at night. I realized about a week after surgery, that I could take it during the day, but needed to take tylenol at night if I had pain. The lack of sleep created a huge knot of tension in my shoulders/base of neck. After I got the medicine straightened out, this went away. The doctor said I should try to get around 30 minutes of walking in. I started out the day after I came home with laps around the yard. Later on that week, my mom and I would go to stores and run errands. I wasn't allowed to lift more than 10 pounds after surgery and I got tired and overheated easily. People couldn't believe how well I was doing after surgery! I was able to go to the evening service at church 6 days after surgery. Honestly, I had imagined the recovery to be more difficult. I didn't have very many problems with throwing up or sensitivity. I did make one big mistake about 2 weeks in. I thought I could eat chick fil a grilled nuggets if I chewed them very carefully. I was very wrong. They went down ok, but for the rest of the day, I felt like they were just sitting in my throat. I felt like someone was sitting on my chest and spit up foamy saliva. I was miserable and nothing helped but time. Listen to your doctor's eating schedule!! Don't try to think you can handle food ahead of schedule! The first week I could only consume full liquids such as shakes, popsicles, and s/f jello. 

This is my go-to brand of Protein powder, Optimum Nutrition:

Week 2, I moved onto soft foods such as cottage cheese, eggs, and soup. Weeks 3-6 I moved to pureed foods.  This was the most challenging time. I tried to be creative and make recipes that everyone could eat. I ended up making a lot of soup recipes such as taco soup, chili and pureeing them, if necessary. I found some great recipes on The eggface blog . She has a baked ricotta recipe that is delicious! Also, another tip for this 6 week phase after surgery: don't watch the food network! I did and I craved everything like crazy!! In my third week, I went back to work. I work in an office so there isn't much strenuous movement. I felt pretty comfortable going back. I just had to take it easy lifting anything heavy. By this time, I had lost about 20 pounds. I was very excited that the weight had came off so quickly! I wasn't doing much exercising yet besides walking around at work and on errands. 

This is me at about 3 weeks out. You can't notice much of a difference yet, but the spark of hope is there! I felt like my life was going somewhere, finally! I was happy!

To surgery and beyond!

I was really blessed to have my mom fly down from MI the day before surgery to help me. She also was going to stay for 3 weeks, which was awesome!  I had to consume only liquids or jello the day before and absolutely could not eat or drink anything on the day of surgery! I had to be at the hospital very early on the day of surgery. I checked into the hospital and was weighed in. I was 340 on the day of surgery. I had lost about 10 pounds since starting the liver shrink diet. I changed into the hospital gown and the waiting began. My pastor and his wife came to the hospital to pray with me and spend time before surgery. I was a little nervous, but mostly just wanted to have surgery so I could start recovery and get out of the hospital. I don't have a fear of hospitals, but I just don't feel comfortable in them.I waited for hours while a few nurses came in to my room to ask all sorts of very personal questions which was very uncomfortable in front of my pastor! After 2-3 hours, the hospital crew wheeled my bed down to another level to insert the IV. I had a lot of fat on my arms and poor veins so it took about 4 tries and the anesthesiologist to finally get that IV in the crook of my elbow. My surgeon, Dr. Wegner came in afterwards and talked to me about the surgery and answered any questions my mom or I had. After another wait, they took me into the operating room. I switched beds and they administered the anesthesia.  The last thing I remember in the OR was telling the nurses a story about the  Junior Mint OR episode of Seinfeld (my favorite show).

The surgery took about 2 hours. When I woke up in recovery, I was extremely nauseous and it was very hard to breathe. I was gasping for air, so they gave me oxygen through my nose. I was later told that they pump a lot of gas into your stomach and it makes it rise up and press on your diaphragm making it hard to breathe. At that point, it took everything in me to focus and not throw up. I wasn't in in pain, but just felt awkward and uncomfortable. They took me into the private hospital room that I would be staying at for the next few days. The nurse administered Zofran for nausea and Dilaudid for pain. I had to try to drink ice water out of little medicine cups at a rate of 2 per hour. My mom and Mike were waiting for me in the room, but honestly, I don't remember much of the day after surgery. I remember the Dr. wanted me to move from the bed to the chair and sit upright for 30 minutes. On day two, the nurse told me I could walk laps in the hallway with my IV in tote. I plodded along, slowly, but surely. I hated those days in the hospital because I just could not get comfortable in the hospital bed. My IV was also in a very awkward place so when I tried to get up or shift in bed, an alarm would sound and I would need to wait for a nurse to come in to turn it off. Needless to say, I didn't get much consecutive rest while at the hospital since nurses and other staff were in my room often and I was uncomfortable. My mom and Mike tried to be there as long as they could during my stay, but the hospital was about 40-50 minutes away from my place and my mom had never been to Memphis. I was so happy when they released me from the hospital 2.5 days later! The surgeon and Nutritionist came into speak with me about aftercare. I had a drain pipe inserted into my stomach with a thick plactic bulb that looked like a grenade attached. The bulb had to be dreained multiple times a day. This had to stay in me for a week until my 1 week appointment. A word to the wise: make sure you know specifically what time you will be released because I thought I was leaving in the morning, but my mom didn't pick me up until the afternoon. I had them remove the IV (Thank the Lord, relief) in the morning, but since mom came later, I was without any medicine and I was sitting there with pain because I had been discharged. I have never been more thankful to be home!

My Story...

Hi! I'm Emily and this is my journey through life after RNY Gastric Bypass surgery. I had GBS on August 27th, 2012. Here's my story: I have been overweight my entire life. I was a big baby, child and of course grew up to be a very big adult!

 

My weight has affected every area of my life. It has made me constantly self conscious. I was an easy target in school and people would single me out because I was one of the biggest girls in school. 

That's me in the purple and black jacket. I realize that it could have been worse, but growing up as a shy overweight girl is really painful. Boys would dare each other to ask me out. My so called best friend in 8th grade created a fake email with her snarky male friend to harass me through derogatory messages. The pain inside of me was uncontrollable. I maintained a weight of around 220 through high school and then my weight rose quickly. I had freedom, a job and a social life to maintain. Exercise was not on my mind! I gained a lot of weight during college because I secluded myself and I didn't have many friends. I ate to stifle the boredom.  I have had my share of weight loss attempts. I feel like I've tried almost everything. I worked out mercilessly, starved myself, Atkins, No Flour/No Sugar, etc. I would lose some weight, but it would never stay off. In 2011, I moved to TN. I had given up on losing weight and felt like I would always be heavy. I was about 310 pounds when I moved here. The Southern Cuisine was very different than what I was used to and I showed no restraint while indulging. Between the stress of being in a new place and job hunting, I got pretty depressed and just tried to eat to make myself feel better (Do you see a trend? I'm an emotional eater). 

        I started a new job in November of 2012. Thankfully, the new job had good insurance and I started the weight loss insurance procedures in February 2012. My insurance wanted me to have 6 months of consecutive weigh ins, a psych evaluation, cardiologist testing (since my BMI was over 50), nutrition classes, and lots of blood work. I attended a Seminar at St. Francis Hospital in March to learn about the surgery. Each insurance group has different requirements for gastric bypass insurance approval. I completed my 6 month period in late July. My highest weight was around 352 in July of 2012. I hated what I'd become! I ached. My body felt about 30 years older than my real age. I didn't feel 28! I was constantly feeling uncomfortable with my body image and desperately fearing what others thought of me. 

The hospital submitted all of my paperwork to my insurance and the long wait started. Honestly, I was worried. My weight fluctuated so much during the 6 months that I was worried they wouldn't approve me. I was approved a little over two weeks later and had my last pre-op appointment on August 15th! On that day they gave me my surgery date. I was thisclose to crying when the nurse gave me my date of August 27th! I have fought so hard and felt so burdened by my weight for my entire lifetime. Its like relief just swept over me and I finally felt like I could breathe again. It was going to be ok. I was finally going to get relief from this prison I was trapped in! Since my surgery was going to be so soon, I had to start the next day on the Liver Shrink Diet. I was allowed to have a protein shake or bar for breakfast or lunch and then a 4 oz. serving of a lean protein and a small carb for dinner. I was allowed to have unlimited non-starchy vegetables throughout the day if I was hungry. I remember thinking "I need to have a last meal before I start this diet!" That night I bid goodbye to my favorite unhealthy foods by having a last supper of Chick-fil-A chicken strips meal, waffle fries, crack sauce (chick-fil-a sauce) and a chocolate chunk cookie. Those next days leading up to my surgery were tough! This big girl was not used to being restricted! I tried to savor my night time meal with every bite. The Dr. warned us in the waiting room that they will know if we haven't followed the pre-surgery diet! This diet helps shrink the liver so the surgeon has more room to maneuver while operating. Those days leading up to surgery were tough, but I had a goal in mind and I wanted to accomplish it! Follow up with my next post to hear about my surgery experience.