Set backs and pushing through

This last week has been a whirlwind! I've been so busy with work, school and social life. On top of all this, I have started to feel sick. I'm not sure if it's just seasonal allergies kicking up due to this wacky TN weather or if I'm actually getting a cold. I feel congested in the left side of my face, sore throat, exhaustion, and burning eyes. I started feeling sick Sunday and made it through my very busy day. Monday morning came around with a wake up of 6:30 AM. I sat in bed for a few minutes trying to justify just staying in bed until 8AM, my normal start to the day. As much as I want to be, I just am not a morning person and now that I can't have caffeine post op, it's even worse.  

Somehow, by the grace of God, I mustered up enough energy to just get out of bed. I lazily threw on my gym clothes and gathered my work clothes and breakfast/lunch. By the time I was driving to the gym, I started to more alert and normal. I spent 20 minutes on the treadmill at the weight loss setting which changes the speed and incline in intervals, 30 on the elliptical on an interval setting of low to high intensity, and spend about 5 minutes working on my arms on the weight machines. I'm finding that I'm able to challenge myself by raising the speed and intensity frequently. When I first started back at the gym last year, I could barely do 10 minutes on the elliptical! I actually feel comfortable at the gym now. When I started in July, I would feel so intimidated by all the fit people. Now I realize, that I have just as much of a right to be there as them! I'm trying to get healthy so that I can have a better life. 

After leaving the gym, I went straight to work. It was a long day! My boss has been dealing with some very difficult family issues right now (Prayers for her are very much appreciated) and the office has been fairly disjointed with the absences. To top it all off, I had to stay late for a meeting. After work, I stopped at Kroger to pick up a few groceries. I was tired, weak and just wanted something easy for dinner. The deli had marked down their fried chicken pieces to $2.99 per box. I cracked and threw them in my cart. I ate the meat from a breast and part of a thigh on the way home. I had a sugar craving and had a slice of cake at home also. I was exhausted and stressed out and caved to my need for comfort food. I regret it now. I thought that I was finally getting it and I do something stupid again. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not just self sabotaging? I feel like the workout that was so hard to get to was just a waste of my time when I do things like that.

Face Palm!

Well, today is another day. I still feel sick and exhausted, but for today, I am determined to learn from my mistakes. I have to learn that this is a journey. I will make mistakes. When you have 200 total pounds to lose, there will be many bumps in the road and maybe a few detours. What really is pivotal is what you do after your mistakes. You can choose to wallow in your frustration or self pity or you can choose to look toward the future, learn from your mistake and carry on with your journey.